


He Said, She Said, They Said, We Said

by modoribashi



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 04:02:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18307808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/modoribashi/pseuds/modoribashi
Summary: "I'm not dating," Lee tried miserably.Tenten gasped scandalously. "So you're MARRIED?""There is a misunderstanding!" Lee cried. "I'm not in a relationship at all!"Gai looked at Tenten who looked at Neji who looked at Gai who looked at Lee. The realization that dawned on Gai’s face was as bright as the shining springtime of juvenescence that illuminated the Konoha morning.





	He Said, She Said, They Said, We Said

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Link and Luigi, truly the GOAT.  
> This was written when I was 13, sorry about the quality.

Being the trained ninjas that they were, the Konoha 11 were rarely moved by any of the gossip passing around. However, there were exceptions.

One piece of information that had achieved this status was 'Sasuke has defected', and that was a while ago. And now, it seemed that the latest headline was: 'Rock Lee Has a Girlfriend.'

 

Lee was ambushed by his fellow ninja pals during his daily around-the-village run.

"I can't believe it!" Kiba gasped, falling into step with him. Akamaru barked happily.

"Believe what?" Lee asked rhetorically. "The brightness of youth that shines upon Konoha today?"

"Congrats, man!" Kiba grinned, slapping Lee hard on the back. "It seems like you're number one in the group!"

Lee was confused. "Number one for what? Taijutsu?"

Kiba sighed happily, and slapped Lee on the back again. "Remember to bring her to meet us sometime. And really, good job on becoming the first of the Konoha 11 ninjas to get a girlfriend! That reminds me to ramp up my pace with—wait, never mind. You didn’t hear that. See ya!" And Kiba left.

Lee stopped in his tracks and stared at Kiba's back.

After a while, he wondered aloud, "I have a girlfriend?"

***

Lee was on a roll today.

He had finished 500 push-ups and 500 sit-ups in record time, and then on his way to (more) training with Gai-sensei he was continually high-fived, congratulated and given manly hugs by his fellow Konoha villagers and pals for his success in his romantic conquest.

It had gotten to the point that even Lee himself believed he had a girlfriend.

If it weren't for the fact he had no idea what his girl apparently looked like, Lee would have been absolutely convinced of the truth by all the congratulations alone.

He arrived at the training grounds a few minutes late, due to being occupied by a particularly emotional Naruto.

"I'm sorry, Gai-sensei!" Lee cried, leaping into sight of his fellow teammates.

"It's alright, Lee!" Gai flashed him the thumbs up. "We all know it's your lucky day today!"

"Oh," said Lee. "Right."

Gai slung an arm over Lee. "I'm so proud of you, Lee!" He cried dramatically. "Oh, the lovely springtime of youth, how brightly it shines upon you! However, make sure you and Tenten don't get to _that_ step before you're married! After all, children are a great responsibility--"

"Urgh," said Tenten, plugging her ears. "Lee, could you PLEASE explain to Gai-sensei that we're not dating? And bring your girlfriend over sometime; it would be great to meet her."

"I don't have a girlfriend," said Lee.

"Don't be shy!" Gai wriggled his eyebrows. "I know it might seem embarrassing to show your love interest to everyone, but you should not be ashamed of your ninja way and your shining juvenescence! Does your girlfriend happen to be a kunoichi? Does she resemble you, in looks or personality?"

It was at this point that Neji burst out laughing.

While it felt good to have beaten Neji, Naruto and even Sasuke (presumably) in something for the first time, it was embarrassing that it wasn't something ninja-related, and that it wasn't even true.

"Gai-sensei," said Lee, looking at his mentor sorrowfully, "I'm afraid what you heard was a lie. I don't have a girlfriend."

"Ooooh," said Gai, wiggling his eyebrows, "so you have a boyfriend?"

"No!" Lee scrambled for words. "That's not what I--"

"It's fine, Lee," Gai patted his back solemnly. "In no ways will this change our love for you. These things just tend to differ from person to person, and it's completely normal--"

"I'm not dating," Lee tried miserably.

Tenten gasped scandalously. "So you're MARRIED?"

"There is a misunderstanding!" Lee cried. "I'm not in a relationship at all!"

Gai looked at Tenten who looked at Neji who looked at Gai who looked at Lee. The realization that dawned on Gai’s face was as bright as the shining springtime of juvenescence that illuminated the Konoha morning.

"I will hunt down the perpetrator of the rumour!" Lee declared, clenching his fist. "And I'll take him to you, Gai-sensei, and make him apologize for the false information he has been spreading around Konoha!"

"Good for you, Lee!" Gai said dramatically, clenching his fist back. "I apologize for misunderstanding you, but you have been a real man for admitting the truth! Tenten, do you know who started the rumour?"

"Well, Shino was the one told me," Tenten rubbed her chin, and fell into deep thought. "And apparently Sakura-chan told Ino-chan who told Chouji who told Shikamaru. Then Chouji also told Kiba who told Hinata-chan who told Shino. Then Shino told me, and I told Gai-sensei and Neji."

"So the perpetrator is Sakura?" Neji (who had his Byakugan turned on to facilitate analysis) concluded.

"Well," Tenten said defensively, "technically it would be the person who told Sakura in the first place which makes it......Naruto!"

"I don't believe Naruto would spread these rumours in order to soil my reputation!" Lee announced honourably. "He probably misunderstood something he saw!"

"Lee was probably just eating with his mom," Neji said to Tenten. "Is that what Naruto misinterpreted?"

Lee argued, "There's nothing wrong with that!"

"I never said there was anything wrong," Neji scoffed.

Tenten turned to Lee thoughtfully. "Do you have a sister or something?" she asked. "Because Naruto saw you hugging a YOUNG girl from behind in the training ground last night. With really long hair."

“Hmm,” Gai rubbed his chin, “How curious.”

“Really nice and pretty long hair,” Tenten stressed. “The kind you see in shampoo commercials.”

Neji: “……”

"Actually," said Lee. "I was at the training grounds wi--"

"Shut up," Neji snapped, turning to Gai. "Can’t we just start the training already?"

"It’s great to see you so eager for once!" Gai flashed him a grin. “But truly, you should consider cutting your hair more often. It’s kind of long and doesn’t it get in the way all the time?"

"I don’t need YOU to tell me that," said Neji.

"...And it's probably why Naruto-kun thought you were a girl," Gai finished quickly. "AHA! Training time! Four laps around the village in the bright morning sun, let's GO GO GO--"

"Naruto is a dumbass," Neji ground out. "We weren't HUGGING."

"It was just an upright combination of the leaf shadow dance and the frontal lotus!" Lee cried. "We weren't doing anything--"

Gai ruffled their hair affectionately. "Lee, Neji, do you really believe I'm that type of narrow-minded person? NO! This won't alter my care for you two at all! Right, Tenten?"

"Right!" Tenten agreed brightly. "I mean, I've always thought there was something between you two, what with the 'eternal rivals' thing and all the 'hating' on each other and the teasing..."

"No," said Neji, horrified, "just NO."

"Ah, glorious youth," Gai sighed happily, "shining as brightly as your love for one another."

"Gai-sensei!" Lee tried desperately. "You're misunderstanding; Neji and I are just best friends!"

"I didn't know you two were BEST friends," Tenten interjected saucily. "When did that happen?"

Neji covered his face with his hands. "I'll just go shave my head bald tomorrow..."

 

 

END


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